How to Quickly Develop Confidence in Your Life So You Can Move Past Fear & Achieve Your Goals

Have you noticed when you have confidence, doing things almost becomes easy, effortless, and even fun?

And you always seem to get your best results?

Whereas when you aren’t confident, doing things becomes hard, challenging and sometimes even feels like a chore?

I know what the feels like because I didn’t have a lot of confidence growing up.

Most people think because of the success I’ve achieved, I must’ve grown up in an environment that “primed” me for success.

Nope.

I grew up in a small town without any mentors, without any role models, and without many successful people around me.

And like a lot of us I’m sure, my parents were really hard on me (not to mention the fact that I was picked on in school because I was skinny – still am!).

On top of all that, I wasn’t the best student.

My grades were “meh,” and my teachers never thought I would land a good job or amount to anything.

We obviously all have our own “struggles” growing up…

I share part of my story, so you know I didn’t have a lot of confidence growing up.  Fact is. I actually had a LACK of confidence.

So how did I change things around?

How was I able to beat the odds so to speak, and go on to develop the confidence to really “go for it” in life?

And achieve most of my dreams by a relatively young age?

Including building two different seven-figure businesses and becoming a millionaire by the time I was 30?

It comes down to 5 things, and that’s what I’m going to share with you in this week’s blog post.

How I Quickly Developed The Confidence To Succeed In
Life And Achieve All My “Big” Goals

I’ve broken down what I’ve learned to quickly develop confidence in life so you can achieve your goals and the things you want.

And most importantly, achieve the things you know you’re capable…

Before we get into the actual steps, I want to share with you the biggest mistake I see people make.

Most people assume confidence is something you come born with or have. I know I use to think this.

That mindset really just kept me thinking and playing small.

What I’ve learned is you gain competence (and confidence) as you go in something.

Just like you develop your vocabulary over time. Nobody is born and can just speak a language fluently.

It is overtime you learn new words, and your vocabulary expands, and you get better and better at communicating.

The same is true with confidence,  but this very belief is what stops people dead in their tracks from even getting started.

So how can you get started? How do you develop the confidence you need … and how do you do it FAST?

I’ve gone ahead and  outlined the five steps that have worked really well for me, and I believe will help you as well

 

Confidence-Building Step #1 – Burn Your Bridges

Have you noticed when you are in the “grey zone” on something, which is that in-between zone it’s hard to have confidence?

That’s because half your energy is split.

Half of you thinks, “Well… maybe I should do this and go this direction” and the other half of you thinks… “well no, I should probably go this other direction.”

In fact, what I’ve found is that being in this grey zone will actually lower your confidence because you’ll be constantly second-guessing yourself.

This is why one of the things I’ve found to be true in my life is that whenever I decide to do something and take action – I usually like to “burn my bridges.”

This saying comes from the book “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.

It means putting yourself in a position where you have one choice, and you have to succeed.

Something happens to your mindset when you eliminate all the other options and move toward what you really want.

Now obviously, you never want to put yourself in danger or anything like that.

But what I AM saying is put yourself in a position where you HAVE to succeed, and where you are crystal clear on what you want and what you are going for.

When you do this, something bubbles up deep within you… it’s like this awesome confidence that was always there but you never knew you had.

I’ll give you a quick example:

When I got started in real estate investing, it was scary and I had ZERO confidence. I’m not a handy person.

But the minute I signed the mortgage to my first investment property, the bridges were burned. There was no turning back, there was not renting a place on a month to month lease.

I was now a Real Estate Investor, and I had to figure out how it all worked. Having that certainly gave me a level of confidence that nothing else could have, at the time.

 

Confidence-Building Step #2 – Exercise Daily 

This next step may sound kind of cliche … but the truth is it’s totally underrated.

And I’m not the only one who thinks this… I remember listening to an interview with Richard Branson and he was asked, “What’s the most important piece of business advice you would give somebody?”

Want to know his answer?

It was “exercise, every day.”

That’s why without a doubt, one of the things I’ve found to help me develop my own confidence has been exercise … every single day.

There are a lot of scientific studies out there that show daily exercise is beneficial for practically everything – it improves your mood, makes you happier, gives you more energy, and helps you feel better overall.

Not only do the physical benefits build your confidence, but so do the mental ones. Here’s what I mean by that… when you make the commitment to yourself to exercise every day at a certain time, and then you honor that commitment you build and grow confidence.

Here’s the thing, you don’t have to train like you are an Olympic Athlete. Far from it… this is about moving your body and committing to some simple exercise every day.

To build your confidence, do whatever you can to get in 15 to 30 minutes of exercise each day. It’s going to pay huge dividends and help you develop confidence.

 

Confidence-Building Step #3 – Build a Support Network

You’ve probably heard me say this before, but none of us are “Self-Made”. To reach your dreams and the goals you have in life, you’re not going to do it alone.

That’s why most of us do our best when we have a support system in place.

It naturally gives you a ton of confidence to know that if anything goes wrong or you make a mistake, you have people in your corner who can help you out when you need it.

This is why it’s so important to surround yourself with great people.

Find a mentor if you can. Or a coach.

Energy, enthusiasm, and confidence are all contagious.

Try to get someone who has a greater vision than you have for yourself… When you can do that, you’ve hit the “jackpot” of confidence.

Because sometimes, especially when we’re getting started, we need somebody else to hold a higher vision for us than we have of ourselves, which we can aspire to. And there’s something magical when that happens, that gives us a kind of confidence that helps us reach for even greater things.

Alternatively, if you can’t get a coach or mentor, join a mastermind. Or start one yourself. The point is, do whatever you need to in order to build a support network for yourself and what you’re trying to achieve.

 

Confidence-Building Step #4 – Lean into Discomfort

A lot of us have trouble when we get outside of our comfort zone, but this is where the growth happens and where confidence grows.

So how can we deal with this discomfort that can paralyze us at times?

What I’ve found works very well… and what trained myself to do, is to reframe the discomfort you feel when getting outside of your comfort zone.

Here’s what I mean…basically, when I start to get out of my comfort zone and those scary feelings of fear come up, I’ve trained myself to use that uncomfortable feeling as a barometer of success.

Most of us want to avoid those uncomfortable feelings when they come up, but I’ve found is when you can reframe them as an indicator you are on the right track everything changes.

When I remind myself of that, my confidence grows back and I KNOW I’m on the right track to hitting my goals and getting ahead. This gives me the confidence to keep going, and I know it can for you, too.

An example in my own life of this was when I left my stable job at the Chamber of Commerce. I knew I wanted more for myself, but leaving the security of a regular paycheck was uncomfortable.

I had a lot of fear, I knew I was getting outside of my comfort zone.

Instead of letting those feelings keep me hostage and in my comfort zone, I  leaned into them t and reminded myself this feeling meant I was on track and making progress to my goals. And I’m so glad I did that.

It led me to partnering with my now business partner, Eben Pagan. And it’s been one of the best decisions of my life and career.

 

Confidence-Building Step #5 – Focus on the Action-Feedback Loop

Taking action is always a confidence-builder because you move from being in your head to actually doing something about your situation.

So many people are afraid to take action because they might make a mistake.

But this is where feedback comes in.

Here’s what I suggest, whenever you take action the first thing you want to look at is whether what you did worked or not.

If it worked out, great!

If not, don’t see it as a “Failure” – that will only lower your confidence.

Instead, look at the feedback. Do whatever you have to, in order to get that feedback. Because when you get feedback, it will breed confidence.  Just like when you learned to ride a bike… you probably didn’t jump on a bike and automatically start riding. You got in, maybe wobbled a little, fell off a few times, right?

But each time, you were getting feedback, which then ultimately helped you successfully ride the bike.

Think of yourself like a scientist. You are just taking action to see what happens. Then notice if it works or not. The more you do it, the more you’ll notice the patterns of what’s working and you’ll start doing more of that.

Do that, and you’ll feel the confidence grow inside of you.

So there you have it … that’s my five-step system for building confidence.

And I want to leave you with one more thought.

This is something I learned from one of my mentors and it’s served me a TON throughout my life and whenever I try something new.

There are THREE conversations you can have in your head.

With two of them, you LOSE. WIth one of them, you WIN (no matter what).

Okay, so here are the conversations:

  1. You’re comparing yourself to where you want to be. You’re always going to lose this conversation because when you’re comparing to where you want to go, you aren’t there yet, which will totally sap your confidence.
  2. You’re comparing yourself to other people and where they are and what they have. This is another conversation you’re always going to lose because you can’t run someone else’s race.
  3. You compare yourself to how far you’ve come. This is the only conversation where you actually WIN and will build your confidence like crazy.

When you look at how far you’ve come and the progress you made, you can’t help but feel good about yourself, which in turn will boost your confidence.

Which in turn will allow you to achieve bigger goals and bigger dreams?

So give these suggestions a shot. I KNOW that if you do them, you’ll feel your confidence SOAR.

And be sure to let me know what you think … do you have any strategies for building your confidence? Leave a comment below and let me know!

2 Comments

Ebiere Koroye

Very very very good!

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Vas Neo

James, thank you again for coaching us with invaluable tips! For me, most valuable take away is Winning Self-Talk by reminding how far you’ve come. 🙏🏻

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