What I’m about to share with you is probably going to freak you out a lot.
It’s going to make you feel really uncomfortable.
…and you are probably gonna kick and scream the whole way of doing it.
Not everybody will be ready to do what I am about to suggest, and that’s okay.
If you can be one of the people that is willing to challenge yourself…
If you can be one of the people that actually does this…
If you are ready to break away from some of the things that are holding you back and start achieving what you know you are capable of…
Then keep reading… because what I’m about to share with you is probably one of my best-kept secrets.
It’s how I have systematically trained myself to do the things that most other people are terrified to do – and how you can learn to do the same.
I seriously consider this my secret weapon, and the amazing thing is that anybody can learn how to do it themselves.
It will turn you into a badass literally overnight.
Not only will you get better results, and start achieving more things in your life, but people will start to look up to you and admire you…
And you will start to inspire them….
Ready for it?
Okay, let’s dive in…
Fear Is The #1 Killer Of Goals And Dreams
So when I started my career, one of the things I learned very quickly is that FEAR was one of the things that held most people back for achieving their goals.
- Fear of success…
- Fear of failure…
- Fear of getting outside their comfort zone…
- Fear of trying something new…
- Fear of having difficult conversations…
I watched myself and others make excuses, avoid things, and come up with all sorts of elaborate reasons why we couldn’t do something.
But here’s the key thing…
I realized at the heart of it all was always the same thing:
Take a minute and think for yourself, how often has fear held you back in life?
Be honest 😉
Personally, it use to hold me back a ton.
When I realized this… I wanted to find a way to overcome fear.
Because I knew if I could… it would give me a superpower that nobody else had, make sense?
…and the same will be true in your life.
How To Systematically Overcome Fear In Just 5 Steps
What follows here is the system I developed for myself to overcome my fears, one-by-one.
It’s only five steps and it’s super simple. But don’t let simplicity fool you – because if you go through this process you’ll see how powerful it really is.
Step #1: Set Yourself Up For Success
For most of us… it is too challenging to try and overcome the things you fear most right out of the gate.
So let’s not start there.
I want to set you up for SUCCESS, not failure…
Step #2: Start With The Small Things You Fear
Start looking for the small things you fear in life.
On any given day, each of us will be faced with several things we either fear or will be uncomfortable for us.
Some examples could be:
> Raising your hand and asking a question at a work meeting
> Having a difficult conversation
> Asking for what you want instead of trying to appease somebody
Notice those little things and make a mental note of them.
Step 3: Notice How You Normally Deal With Fear
Once you become aware of some of the things you fear…
Then the next thing you want to do is notice how you usually deal with the fear?
Understand your response pattern, if that makes sense?
For example… in my life, I will typically AVOID the things I fear.
This is a pretty common coping mechanism… how often have you avoided something you fear?
Again, be honest 😉
Anyway… once you become aware you can clearly start to see all the ways you avoid the fear:
> Delaying and postponing
> Making excuses
> Telling yourself stories
> Convincing yourself you don’t want the thing I actually want
You get the idea…
Your mind can come up with some very elaborate things when you are trying to avoid something, can’t it?! lol.
Step 4: Time to Change – Do The Opposite
Okay, so once you become aware of how you cope with the things you fear
Guess what I want you to do next?
THE EXACT OPPOSITE.
Yep… it is that simple…
But the tricky thing is that every bone in your body will try and hold you back.
I told you it would be a little uncomfortable 😉
Step 5: Practice
You’re still reading… so don’t stop now. This is the last step!
This is where you get to practice and make it a little game for yourself…
During the day, anytime you have a little fear about something…
And you feel it in your body wanting to avoid it (or however you cope)
Challenge yourself to do the exact opposite and just jump right in moving toward it.
It probably sounds a little crazy for you to hear this, but it works REALLY well…
Here’s what you will probably find… the more you practice this, the easier it becomes.
It’s just like you are going to the gym, and building a new muscle.
Here are some of the ways I practice:
When I’m attending a presentation and they ask if anybody has questions… I always stick my hand up first and just ask one. Just to practice overcoming the fear…
When there’s a difficult conversation I need to have, I email, text or call the person and set it up. I put it on my calendar… just to practice overcoming the fear.
You get the idea… when you start looking at things like this, you will see there are opportunities for you to practice this every single day.
I’m sure there’s some science to back up what I’m talking about here, like technically you are probably creating new “neuro-pathways” or something…
But look, I don’t have a P.H.D. in anything so I’m going to keep it simple, and just let you know this works. And it works really well.
I STILL Practice This, Day In And Day Out.
Not too long ago, I had to go see a doctor for a specialist appointment. I have chronic pain in my shoulder, and I was trying to get that sorted out.
After examining me, he said he would do two things.
- He’s lining up a bone scan for me in the next few weeks to rule out a few serious issues
- He also asked I get some bloodwork done.
Now… I hate bloodwork.
For whatever reason… needles, and especially bloodwork, make me very dizzy almost to the point of passing out.
So… like we just talked about, my natural response would be to try and avoid or postpone this stuff.
Well… guess what happened?
After our appointment was done, he passed me my paperwork, and said…
“Here’s your paperwork, James… you can actually get the bloodwork done just downstairs, and I think they are open until 6 pm, so if you go now, you can get it done.”
That was my first thought…
I was thinking maybe I would book it in a week or something. lol. But certainly not today!
Anyway, this is exactly what I’m talking about…
Guess what I did?
Exactly what I am teaching you here now… this was one of those opportunities to practice overcoming fear, and build that muscle…
I took the requisition form down to the 3rd floor and lined up to get my blood drawn.
Here I am in all my glory…
Here’s why I’m sharing this:
>>> When I bought my first income property, I was terrified
>>> When I partnered with my biz partner, Eben to start our online business, I was terrified.
>>> A few months ago, when Eben told me I should start my own personal brand and shoot LIVE videos on Facebook and Instagram, being a total introvert, you can guess I was SCARED.
I’m sure you feel the same about some of the BIG things you want to achieve in your life right?
But guess what…
Because I have practiced overcoming this fear for the past 10 years… I’m able to jump in and make things happen.
>>> I was able to buy that first income property, and now have a total of 25 income properties (and 92 total units)
>>> I was able to pull the trigger on starting a business with Eben and it’s now a 7-figure business
>>> My team and I launched my own James Mel brand and it’s doing phenomenal.
And THIS is what I want you to be able to do, too – overcome the things you fear, and move toward your dreams.
Maybe you are afraid of success?
Maybe you are afraid of failure?
Maybe you are afraid you aren’t good enough?
Maybe you are afraid you don’t have enough time?
If you have read this far… I know this much.
You are one of the people who can actually overcome your fear and make things happen.
Use this as an opportunity to face your fear and move toward your goals.
And be sure to tell me in the comments if there’s something in your life you fear right now … what is it? How will you deal with it?